Sex, the city... and me.

When I was young, I remember not being allowed to watch Sex and the City on account of the sex (probably more in the title than in the actual series). I could not understand it given we were a Desperate Housewives household but more on that another time. Apparently, it was too raw for a child (even more so for a highly impressionable one like me) and it was out of the question. The problem? This only made it all the more important for me to get into it. I tried finding the book, searching for the synopsis and it always eluded me.

Many many moons later, I got the chance to watch the Sex and the City 2 movie. Given I had zero context, it was not a good idea. As the fountain of bad ideas that just work, we know I took that chance. What's more, I fell in love. I enjoyed watching Carrie and Big, completely missed the Aidan context, disliked Samantha's inability to obey the rules and was completely frustrated by Charlotte's incessant need to focus on the irrelevant and unsolvable. As far as movies went, I loved it. It was/is completely my jam.

Many years later, as I count down to the start of a new decade, I decided to rewatch the Sex and the City in order (including And Just Like That). I consider it a coming of age ritual for any young lady or gent (or gay) and here's why:

1. They're not that different from us. Yes they had answering machines and physical papers that people were actually reading but the dating scene and culture is pretty similar to what exists today. We're all trying to fit in or fucking randomly. Some of us are dreamy like Charlotte while others are needlessly realistic like Miranda. In all, the dog eat dog world hasn't changed much and the dogs are eating dogs out here.
2. There are life lessons wrapped in bite-sized episodes. Whether it's the lesson to look before you leap (or fuck before you marry) as with Charlotte's first marriage or poverty respects no one and nothing (not even a shit ton of shoes) like when Carrie realised she had no money to buy her apartment. The lessons are there and if you ask nicely I would point a few more that I took out to you (I would probably do it regardless)
3. Age and aging is a beautiful thing and even if you dont think so you'd age eitherway or you (or other people in your life) would wish you did. First they they were in their early thirties and then their forties (case in point the last single girl) and now in their late fifties and let me tell you they managed to mess things up and mend fences the whole time.
4. Fashion really is timeless. Those babes wore some sick pieces. Did you peep the Van Cleef pieces? the vintage wares? Phew! Dressing well is an art and like all art only a few will appreciate it for what it is. You must always be one of the few that appreciate your style else you end up slipping.
5. Heartbreak really is a national (and occassionally international) cake. No one is above it, I mean even the big bad Samantha Jones suffered and well Carrie was dumped by Post-It. Nothing will top that in my book and as someone who does the dumping, if it ever happened to me that way? I am shaving my hair and joining a monastery.
6. There is someone or at least something(s) for everyone. Now I am not promising everyone a lover but in the end you will get something. It could be great friends that just get you, a career that holds you down, pastimes that distract you or alcohol and maybe some cigarettes and sex. If you don't find it (or them) in your twenties, that's why the thirties, forties and even fifties are there.
7. Life is inevitably for the living. Take it however but regardless of if and how you choose to live the time will pass, so live. Everyday won't be your best showing and that's okay. Just live, please.

My key takeaways and wishes are:

• To love my friends like Carrie: I want to show up for the people in my life as fearlessly as Carrie (and her girls most of the time) did. I high-key would love for them to show up for me the same way.
• To be loved how Carrie loved Big: She loved that man to the brink of insanity, what more is there to say?
• To be disciplined and focused like Miranda: She was (stressing the was because they've broken her in AJLT. Editor's Note:- This author is 3 episodes into the first season of AJLT and can not confirm that this is indeed what they have done to the character) She was one tough cookie and boy was she focused as hell on her career.
• To live with no regrets like Samantha: She slept with everyone and everything and never caught an infection or pregnancy? Talkabout a life with no regrets or what-ifs.
• To be hopeful like Charlotte: She quit her job for a non-existent dream baby, need I say more. That woman had very serious goals; to find love and build a family and she never forgot it. I know my voice of reason, perfected through years and years of inherited ancestral trauma will never allow me be so willfully hopeful but it was refreshing as a cynic to watch how those on the other side live.
• To have my people like the girls had each other in sex and the city: True ride or die's are a gift not all would experience but they could be the turning point of your life. It is so wholesome to have your people and know that come rain, come hailstorm they will stand by you. I genuinely wish it for everyone and for me but maybe I am bad vibes and that's why I haven't found the ones that will stick around with me.

After all is said and done, it really is one of the greatest shows that exist and not by the standards many use to rank series. It was an easy and comfortable watch, although there were some episodes that had me wanting to shout and pull my hair. I am thankful I watched the series and the movies and I highly recommend watching them as a coming of age ritual!

Red's Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️